Cant Figure Me Out....

I'am a person you cant figure out, my feelings, the way i think, anything. I hate it when im asked a question over and over. I'm in a place of transition, i have people who care about me for the first time. I have a person who cares and makes me smile, but is forcing almost what he wants us to be. I'm quiet, a loner of sorts, and NEVER share my feelings. I'am scared of moving on, but im not trying to force anyting. I dont want my cake right now, i want to eat first. I dont share my feelings, because of pasts. But im not putting it on anyone, or blaming them of the past. I need to want to be with you, and miss you, and wondering are you thinking about me. Dont force us, when i feel like that, i push away. I withdraw myself. I beat myself up sometimes of how i think and why i cant just come out and enjoy whats out here to enjoy. Its hard...very hard. And i guess you will never understand or figure me out. And the thing is...i want you too

Sometimes i see black and white, and never color. Life needs to be enjoyed in color, but im tryin to see in 20/20..