ZYLER TURNS 4

WELL I feel bad i havent been keeping up for you bloggers out there, but Zyler has a brother now!!! His name is Jakey Trey and hes 5 months now..Hes the most cutest lil boy ever! And Zyler is really enjoying being a big brother. But Zyler is now 4...CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? I cant... Its been four years since giving birth to him, not trying to get attatched. I let Jea and Chris spend the most time with him. I knew i wasnt going to be able to bring him home with me and it hurted. I cried my eyes out when i got home. My mother wasnt a great support. My other two kids didnt know why mama was crying or where was the baby that was in my tummy. But Jea made it easy to talk to, to call, to text, to email. And for the people i met along the way..I thank them for being in my journey Keri Laura Desha Cindy...my birthmom bud happy birthday zyler

2012

Well hello,

I havent been on here lately but so much is going on i dont know where to begin. But i will share this news with you guys. Zyler is now a big brother to a healthy lil boy name Jacob. They went to Kentucky to go and bring him home. They had some red tape to get through since adoption laws are different there. But everything has cleared and now they are parents to two boys. I couldnt be happier for them they are so great and deserve this.

Ending of 2011

well this year has been trials for me, but i couldnt be happier for My Jea and Chris...they are in the process of adding another Modderman. Thats exciting!!!! and Zyler couldnt be happier..Hes such a happy child, love his cousins and haves too much fun.. I couldnt of made a better choice for him. My butterfly they gave me when i gave birth to him, came up missing and HURTED ME DEEPLY..still dont know who, or where it went to. I got a package today.... :-)

Happy Birthday Zyler!!!!

well im very late...yes i am Zyler turned 3 on Aug 3. And i got a chance to speak to him. He's soooo cute when he says my name. My other son, his brother will be 7 tomorrow. I have to keep this short, cause of my hand. im working with only one hand and its so hard typing. But here are some pics of the family...enjoy

Easter Basket....

Well it seems like each time i look at him, hes getting bigger and starting to look like the other person should i say. I have found that other person and its sad to say, he looks like him. And i choose to block all that is him, because of the lies, lies, and more lies he and his fam has told. So i will continue to keep Zyler where he needs to be. Maybe when hes older enough to understand he will know. But Zyler is 2 now and just such a Lil man. Jea sunt me a video and he said my name. He sounded sooooooo cute. Sometimes i watch it over and over just to hear him say my name. Even though we don't talk as much as we use to do, i like our relationship. It keeps me sane, not to be as i was in the beginning, but I'm thankful for the relationship we do have. Chris went to Kentucky to see his dad, hes fighting cancer. From what i hear, hes doing good!!! Sending prayers to Kentucky!!!!!

Long Over Due

I know i havent blogged since his birthday last year but here i go. I have gotten so many pictures and phone calls and videos of him, hes amazing!!! And some horrible news also. I found Zylers birthfather, and to tell you it makes me sick to my stomach. Almost like hes living a double life or something. All the lies he told. A part of me wants to send him a message but the other part wants to say you will never know how wonderful this little boy turned out to be. But Zyler is two now and talkin. I got a video with him saying my name and it was so cute. I have stable internet so i will be getiing back to my blogging. I was showing a friend of mine all the pictures from the beginning to now, and she even shedded a tear. But Love telling my story, OUR STORY as Jea would say. I love and miss them dearly.....portland im coming soon!!!

August 3 2010

I know im late for this but i had so much on my mind that i couldnt even think about what special day it was. Zyler has turned 2 and it was momentus. I spoke to Jea and i heard him talk in the background. he is getting soo big that i cant believe that hes 2. Steven turned 6 today and i couldnt even be with him today. I had shed my tears and cried so much that it hurts. Im goin through so much right now and not enough support that it makes me wanna just give up all together. But i know that i cant because i have kid depending on me. But what happens when i cant depend on myself. Who can i turn to? Zyler is one happy little boy and he maybe getting a sister or brother real soon. i hope it goes well for them cause im so proud of them..and they are of me