Bringing in 2009

Well, My Jea and Chris sunt me and the kids a package, and it had cars for Steven and a lil clutch and lip gloss for Brea. I love bath stuff. I love to smell good. And i got some more poses from the studiochristy shoot. I got a update letter from My Jea's parents too. They look so happy being grandparents to a lil boy. Jea told me he charmed everyone in Kentucky. He is so treasured in my heart. Maybe one day i will start on that Dear Zyler letter and my scrapbook too. I wonder what the new year will bring???

White stuff

Well My jea has put up new pics of Peacock Ln. Its heavy heavy snow, with a lil bear in it...

The white stuff

My lil girl Brea asked me was it going to snow. And i told her that Beaumont doesnt get snow...i guess mama was wrong

Photos By: www.studiochristy.com

Sometimes I Cry By Tupac Shakur

SOMETIMES WHEN I'M ALONE I CRY BECAUSE I'M ON MY OWN THE TEARS I CRY R BITTER AND WARM THEY FLOW WITH LIFE BUT TAKE NO FORM I CRY BECAUSE MY HEART IS TORN AND I FIND IT DIFFICULT 2 CARRY ON IF I HAD AN EAR 2 CONFIDE IN I WOULD CRY AMONG MY TREASURED FRIENDS BUT WHO DO U KNOW THAT STOPS THAT LONG TO HELP ANOTHER CARRY ON THE WORLD MOVES FAST AND IT WOULD RATHER PAST U BY THAN 2 STOP AND C WHAT MAKES U CRY IT'S PAINFUL AND SAD AND SOMETIMES I CRY AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHY.

My thoughts

Today, i checked My Jea's shutterfly site and seen new pictures of my lil monkey toe up there. He's so amazing each time. He is a special lil boy to everyone. I know the holiday will be rough, but i've told my other two kids about him. They didnt come to the hospital when i had him. My lil 4yr old knows his name and the parents name too. They want to make him something for Christmas..isnt that sweet. I have a baby blanket that i had as a baby and have used it with both my kids and have now passed it on to him. Sometimes i feel im not giving my kids all of me. My Dr. put me on prosac and it has helped me cope, but due to my financial situation i havent been able to get a refill. I pray that i will be strong for all three of them.

He Turned 4 months Yesterday

My Zyler turned 4 months yesterday..I had a lot of emotion, a lot of sadness, never regret. i miss him so much it hurts. Its like a void in my heart. I'm always crying, how can you stop from feeling so bad? I see him growing right in front of my eyes, and I can honestly say im jealous..no, im envious because im missing out on his life. Its never goodbye but see you later. How do you tell your heart what your head knows?? I love Zyler!!!!